
The recent killing by American drones of Iran's powerful General Suleiman, a terrorist mastermind on par with Osama bin Laden, has supposedly led to a flood of speculation in the cryptocurrency known as bitcoin. Bitcoin shot up five percent, according to Forbes, as wise guys and fraidy cats sought safe harbors in case stocks and bonds cratered due to war in the Middle East. That's the scoop, at least. I don't pretend to really understand bitcoin. I have a hard time grasping its basic concept, no less the sense behind it. And I suspect it's a sucker's bet, a techno-fantasy for conspiracy theorists and uber-nerds. The heavy involvement in bitcoin by the Lunkhead Twins, I mean Winklevoss Twins, is a head-scratcher. But, again, who knows. High techno-finance, the realm of amoral equity-fund mandarins and sell-out physicists -- a two-handed head-scratcher.
However, there is no doubt about this: the bitcoin enterprise emits about 23 megatons of carbon every year, the equivalent of 1.2 million transatlantic flights. Bitcoin, whether it's booming or busting, results in a massively irresponsible waste of energy that is helping to fuel climate change.
However, there is no doubt about this: the bitcoin enterprise emits about 23 megatons of carbon every year, the equivalent of 1.2 million transatlantic flights. Bitcoin, whether it's booming or busting, results in a massively irresponsible waste of energy that is helping to fuel climate change.

Why does it take so much energy to make bitcoin? The answer is complicated and not immediately apparent. This Investopedia article does a nice explaining the history and mechanics of bitcoin, but fails completely to note its environmental impact. It does relate how bitcoin miners at their high-powered computers compete to "produce" bitcoin and gain bonuses by solving vastly complicated math problems. Remember, there is no social purpose behind this computational Olympics; nothing tangible is made. Only bitcoin is made, sorta. The jacked-up computers of bitcoin miners run hot and hard, jumping through mathematical hoops, in order to satisfy "proof of work" principles and therefore imbue bitcoin with some hypothetical kind of value. The miners could just as well run marathons or help little old ladies across the street (without bilking them of their savings, we hope), but instead they expend massive amounts of electricity.
Some bitcoin miners counter that they use renewable energy. Sure, fine, but that renewable energy could flow elsewhere to businesses that actually employ people and make things if the ridiculously wasteful and absurd pursuit of bitcoin mining did not exist. Then there's the deeply philosophical argument that burning coal to produce bitcoin is no worse than burning coal to make toys for McDonald's Happy Meals. Maybe, maybe not -- hey, here's an idea. Let's ban both practices -- the manufacturer of bitcoin and crappy plastic lumps of Frozen moose.
So, let's recap. At a time in human history when we urgently need to come up with new, inventive ways to drastically reduce our global carbon footprint, the barons of cryptocurrency have devised a new and inventive way to raise our global carbon footprint. Yay bitcoin, buy it now!!
Some bitcoin miners counter that they use renewable energy. Sure, fine, but that renewable energy could flow elsewhere to businesses that actually employ people and make things if the ridiculously wasteful and absurd pursuit of bitcoin mining did not exist. Then there's the deeply philosophical argument that burning coal to produce bitcoin is no worse than burning coal to make toys for McDonald's Happy Meals. Maybe, maybe not -- hey, here's an idea. Let's ban both practices -- the manufacturer of bitcoin and crappy plastic lumps of Frozen moose.
So, let's recap. At a time in human history when we urgently need to come up with new, inventive ways to drastically reduce our global carbon footprint, the barons of cryptocurrency have devised a new and inventive way to raise our global carbon footprint. Yay bitcoin, buy it now!!